*LUPEC Boston’s latest ruminations, in case you missed ‘em in the “Back to School” issue of The Weekly Dig.
by LUPEC Boston (compiled by Pink Lady)
Please take your seats, everyone, class is now in session! This may be a 101-level seminar, but LUPEC Boston will waste no time in this classroom. We’re preparing your livers for a lifetime of imbibing—consider the coursework graduate level!
Today’s topic: “How to Behave Like a Sophisticated Cocktailian in the Bar.” We’ve compiled these pointers with newly of-age drinkers in mind, but many bar veterans could use the refresher. Plus, you never know when there will be a pop quiz.
Rule #1: Shed the impulse to drink everything you see in front of you because who knows when you’ll drink again? You’re 21. You can get your hands on alcohol whenever you want.
Rule #2: Expect to be carded, don’t give attitude (e.g., “Are you serious?” and “Oh, please! You must be trying to flatter me!”), and do not try to trick bar staff into serving you without ID. You will only look stupid, which they will remember when you return to drink there legally.
Rule #3: Mind your manners! Don’t forget to say “please” and “thank you.” Waving hands or money, or whistling and screaming, “Hey, chief!” at the bartender will solidify your place at the end of the line. Make eye contact, be patient and be rewarded with speedy service in subsequent rounds.
Rule #4: Tip well, tip often and follow these guidelines: $1/drink for drinks $5 or less, 20 percent for anything more, including shots. The real world is expensive. Get used to it.
Rule #5: Booze has a taste, and it is delicious. Flavored vodka doesn’t count. Discover gin, whiskey and tequila. You may think you don’t like these spirits, but you will if you learn to make an Aviation, a real margarita or any one of countless options. And your friends will think you’re a genius. Start today by mixing up one of these.
FRISCO
2 oz rye whiskey
0.25 oz Benedictine
0.75 oz lemon juice
Shake with cracked ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a lemon slice.
CIN-CIN!
fancybrandy
Hanky Panky
joseypackard
Pink Lady
Pinky Gonzales
Hoskins
thepinkgin
When they turn 21, everyone should receive an official packet in the mail that contains these rules, perhaps with some helpful illustrations. We have driver’s ed. Why not drinker’s ed?